As Paul the Psychic Octopus foretold, Spain defeated Germany in Durban this evening to progress to their first ever World Cup final. There’s no point going into detail about the match itself; anyone reading this probably watched it: Germany played well but just came up against a much better team, and it was absolutely beautiful to watch. The Spanish midfield was superb, keeping possession marvelously and pressing well whenever they didn’t have the ball, and Sergio Busquets, a player I’ve long been critical of, was exceptional in his defensive midfield role. All in all, great display from a great team, and I sincerely hope they beat the Dutch on Sunday because it will be a shame is this Spanish side doesn’t win the World Cup.

How on earth is Zlatan Ibrahimović worth €45 million plus Samuel Eto’o? I just can’t understand it. Eto’o has a better goal scoring record, he’s only a year older than Ibrahimović, and he can sometimes make a contribution in big matches, which is something I’ve never seen Ibrahimović do. Sure, Eto’o is reputed to have a bit of an ego, but Ibrahimović is no shrinking violet himself so I don’t see how this swap is going to improve dressing room cohesion. Maybe I’m missing something very obvious here, but to me this deal looks like dreadful business for Barcelona.

I don’t know how football rumours generally begin, but the ones that get reported in the press usually seem to fall into one of two categories: the believable and the delicious. Believable rumours may or may not contain a kernel of truth, but they sound plausible and thus it sounds like the newspaper reporting the story is privy to reliable information, sometimes to the exclusion of its peers. Delicious rumours on the other hand seldom, if ever, contain even a smattering of fact, and they are only reported because they are exciting to read about in some way.

Given all this, I am making up the delectable news that Real Madrid striker Ruud van Nistelrooy could be on his way to Arsenal for as little as £1.25 million as the Spanish giant’s new president Florentino Perez seeks to trim the ballooning wage at the Santiago Bernabeu. Van Nistelrooy is reportedly keen to return to the Premier League in order to put himself in contention for a place in the Dutch national side ahead of next year’s World Cup, and Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has been looking to strengthen his forward line on the cheap after yet another injury-plagued campaign. A move to Arsenal would give van Nistelrooy the chance to prove that he can still play at the highest level and would also allow him to forge a better partnership with his Dutch team-mate Robin van Persie. Such as deal would also provide Wenger’s squad with much needed cover in the event of Emanuel Adebayor engineering a transfer away from Arsenal after an unhappy season for the Togo striker.

This sounds like a pretty good rumour to me. Van Nistelrooy seemed to relish beating Arsenal as a Man Utd player, so such a move would be something of a shock, but it would also make good sense for all the parties involved, if Arsenal could persuade him to accept a reduced salary. He’s strong, he’s not a bottler on big occasions, and, most importantly, he’s an astoundingly prolific goalscorer. Granted, he’s injury prone and not likely to play over 30 games a season, but that’s about what Adebayor managed last season. I say sign him up.

From F365:

“If I tell you I have £250m, every player I call will cost three times more,” he said.

“When I am manager of a club I do with what I have available and you have never heard me complain about the money that was available.

“But as well I do not accept people to think that I am stupid enough to have £100m at my disposal and put it in the bank because I am scared to spend it.”

Wenger added: “Considering transfers and the money available, the less you talk the better it is. Let other people talk and you do what you want.

“I believe the more everybody shuts up inside the club and does not talk about anything and works hard is the best.”

He’s dead right too. For what it’s worth, I’d try to sell Abebayor for upwards of £25m and try to get some money for Gallas too if his heart isn’t in it anymore. I doubt anybody’s going to be interested in the midfield dross, but obviously I’d snap the hand off anyone who offered something valuable for Abu Diaby. These deals plus the £13m or so that Wenger’s rumoured to already have at his disposal would potentially give the club a war chest of over £40m, with which I’d break the bank for Danieli De Rossi and spend the remainder on bringing Brede Hangeland to the club.

Otherwise I think the team is fine. Almunia’s a decent keeper, and Toure recaptured his form towards the end of the season somewhat. Sagna and Cliche are two of the best full-back in the Premiership, and Kieran Gibbs looks promising. There’s an embarrassment of riches in midfield, and a Song-De Rossi pairing in big matches would grind down any opposition’s creativity. Upfront, there’s genuinely nobody I’d rather have at the club than RVP, and if he stays free from injury then Arsenal will definitely win the league next season. Bendtner’s alright in the air, Vela’s underused at the moment, and Eduardo will be back to full fitness next year, so there’s really not that much need to bring in another forward.

Problems solved. I’m sure Wenger’s working on it right now.

I found this on a football forum; it kind of sums up El Diego as a player.

LOL!

I watched the game in a pub with my friend Anthony and a bunch of rowdy Spaniards, who celebrated the Catalans’ late equalizer with much leaping about, shouting and smashed glass. Funny thing is, no one even complained about the mess; I think everyone was just so pleased that Chelsea lost, because they’re a bunch of whining, diving, unsporting louts who churn out dull, soul-destroying football while drawing in ridiculous wages.

What a strike by Iniesta too; if it really was the only Barca shot on target during the entire game then it was certainly worth the wait.

“Never thought i’d say this but… come on arsenal.. If united were playing the nazis with hitler in goal an my ex bird up front i’d be supporting the tashed one an co”

From PeteF96, commenting on an article on Football365.

It’s impossible for someone who wasn’t there to say with any certainty exactly what happened, but this Gooner thinks that Hull manager Phil Brown and his staff are full of shit. Even if Fabregas did spit, which he denies, unless he actually spat on the Hull assistant manager I don’t see why it’s such a big deal.

From the BBC:

Brown has questioned whether Fabregas should have been allowed on the pitch, adding that he thought his attire of jeans and a puffa jacket was unsuitable and that the Arsenal captain had behaved in an aggressive manner.

“The pictures in the national papers verify the aggression he was showing towards players and staff after the game. I could go on but I’m not one for crying over spilt milk,” he added.

“I then witnessed him going down the tunnel and turning round and spitting at my assistant manager’s feet.

“Whichever way you want to look at it, he addressed that spitting incident at my assistant manager who has managed probably 1200 games in his career. Disgraceful act.”

Brown also revealed he was unhappy with an apparent lack of courtesy shown to him by Wenger in the clubs’ two league meetings this season.

“It just shows how we’ve got up the noses of the Arsenal hierarchy.

“He wouldn’t shake my hand when we beat them fairly 2-1 at the Emirates, he wouldn’t shake my hand when they beat us, fairly, 3-1 at the KC Stadium.”

Definitely not one to cry over spilt milk. Funny too how Phil Brown can get worked up over stuff (“he wouldn’t shake my hand”) that never happened. And what’s wrong with how Cesc is dressed?

Usually, when somebody links to a YouTube video and says “I bet you can’t sit through the whole thing!”, what they really mean is either “this is infuriating” or “this is dire”. Thus, it’s usually possible to sit through the video but it’s not very enjoyable to do so. However, there are times when the wager holds up, such as in this example, which I genuinely could not bear to watch anymore after about two minutes (the only reason I persevered with it for so long was that it had been linked with the warning that “[t]his is going to be the most difficult challenge of your life.”)

For a long time (or a few weeks at any rate) I did not think this feat could be repeated. How could something be so bad, so idiotic, so juvenile and so downright wrong that it could plumb to deeper depths of human degeneracy than that video? Well enter Stephen H. Webb, a professor of religion and philosophy at Wabash College, and his article about how “soccer”, by which he means football, is ruining America. The piece is in jest, of course; Webb doesn’t sincerely believe that football is destroying America. However, I can’t say this for certain, because the article is so goddamn bad that I couldn’t read it all. I presume that some of the things he says are purely for fun, and others mostly for fun but intended to illustrate what he thinks are serious points, or maybe he’s just a troll of epic proportions, but, whatever his intent, the whole thing made me seethe. I’m not even going to dig quotes out of it because the chore will just enrage me further. Go read it yourself, ‘if you dare!11′.

Update: I don’t want to start making a habit of this (see last post), but having calmed down a little bit and forced myself to look at the article in sections I find I’m now a little less upset with Prof. Webb. The last part of it was even kind of amusing. Webb just doesn’t understand the appeal of football, and he thinks that American sports are inherently better for a variety of reasons, and obviously I disagree with him on all of this. However, the article is neither “bad” nor “idiotic” nor “juvenile” nor “wrong”, it just wound me up, and so it looks like that YouTube clip remains the worst thing on the internet.

I’ve been burned by making foolhardy predictions in the past, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say 3-0 to the Gunners. They’ve obviously been squirreling away their good form for the Champions League, and that’s why they’re languishing in 5th position in the Premiership (in b4 “that’s not how it works”). Anything’s possible with RVP in the side.

Also, Forza Internazionale!

To launch RAG Week we are opening the SU Common Room on Sunday afternoon at 1pm to show the following: Spurs v Arsenal 1.30pm, Scotland v Wales (rugby) and West Ham v Man Utd 4pm. It is Common Room policy not to air those Liverpool scumbags! The Old Bar will also be open for the afternoon showing live games and there will be a free Comedy night in there at 8pm.

My emboldening (yes, that’s the correct word for it; I looked it up).